Recognizing an Abused Child

I read and article yesterday called, "Siblings Discover Dad's Scout Abuse, Remember Own".  Here is the link if you would like to read it.  Abuse article.   I read it several days ago and it has really stuck with me, but not for the reasons you might think.  The article describes a brother and sister reading a memo that was part of the files recently released, dating from 1959 to the late 1980's describing abuse incidents in Boy Scouting. The article describes an incident where their father is observed molesting a young boy.  As a result, he was fired from his job with the boy scouts.  No legal action was taken.  The last line of the article is what has been on my mind.  It says, "After his dismissal, on February 7, 1963 Gray went home to his family.  Carol was 12 years old.  Jim was only 7."  Both siblings suffered abuse at the hands of their father.

As a social worker, I am a mandated reporter.  Michigan has a law that requires people in certain professions to report suspected child abuse.  Here is a list of mandated reporters.  Mandated Reporters.   Essentially, the law says that if I see signs of abuse or suspect abuse, I am am required to report it.  That seems easy, but it really isn't.  Kids get bruises for all kinds of reasons.  Even good mother's forget to send a pair of mittens to school sometimes.  How do we really tell if a child is being abused?  I had a teenager tell me that her father was abusing her.  Her mother said that she was making it up.  I have had teenagers and it is entirely possible she was making it up.  I had to make a judgement call.   I chose to call Child Protective Services because in my mind, it is better to be safe than sorry.  I have another example of a third grade girl who clothes are always too big and her coat is never zipped up.  She arrives at my corner almost 30 minutes before school starts.  It makes me wonder if Mom and Dad have gone to work and left her to find her own way to school.  Why are her clothes always too big?  Her hair is brushed about half of the time.  Is this neglect or just a kid who doesn't want to comb her hair and zip up her coat?   Since I am the crossing guard at the corner, I do not get to spend more than 10 to 15 minutes with this girl.  This time I chose to ask a few questions.  She tells me that she is poor and her mother cannot see.  There doesn't appear to be a father in the picture.  If I get worried enough about this child, I will head up to the school and ask for some background.  For now, I am just going to keep reminding her to zip up her coat and hurry into school.

I have a friend whose child had a rug burn on his back from wrestling on the floor with his brother. The student teacher in his first grade class room reported this to child protective services and they came and asked some questions.  I admire a student teacher who is not afraid to speak up and question a child's situation.  My friend was terrified that her child was going to be taken away from her.  I advised her to answer all the questions honestly and let her day care provider know what that she was being investigated.  It turned out just fine and nothing came of the incident.

 I have also been investigated as a foster parent for abuse.  I took one of my foster daughter's to visit her birth mother and the next thing I know, the case worker is on my phone telling me about a bruise on the side of this young girl.  I was in quite a panic for a day or so until the mess was cleared up.  Our family has an above ground swimming pool in the back yard.  The day after the the investigation began, I took the kids swimming.  This young lady had a swim suit that had a cut out on the side.  She was dark skinned to start with and with no frame of reference the cut out circle looked just like a bruise.  I immediately called the social worker and explained.  The crisis had been avoided.  As much as I did not enjoy that little incident, it is necessary.  Some foster parents do abuse foster children and they should be questioned and monitored at all times.    

As a social worker, I do not travel around with my eye peeled for the smallest sign of child abuse, but I am educated in what to look for.  As a human being, I do not want to be a whistle blower and see things that are not there.  However, I also do not want to be the person that did not speak up when confronted with evidence.  This is why that article is weighing on my mind so heavily.  When the Boy Scouts fired this man, he just went home and began abusing his own children instead.  Someone chose to ignore some really big signs and the children paid the highest price of all.  I don't really want to get into a debate on right or wrong in the Boy Scout organization, or in the Catholic Church, or at Penn State.  All it makes me think about is that there was someone just like me who suspected something and didn't do anything about it.

From my own personal experience, I am just a spoke in the wheel.  There are others in the wheel who may have doubts just like me.  The little girl I am wondering about sees a lot of adults everyday at school.  I am sure I am not the only one wondering about this child's situation.  I think the spokes should be talking to each other.  If more than one person has noticed what I have, I am going to do something about it.  If I am wrong and a family has to suffer through an investigation, I am not going to feel bad about acting on my instinct.  If there is the slightest chance that a child is being abused and neglected, I want to be the person that saves a child from a life time of abuse.

Here is the number to call if you suspect a child is being abused or neglected in Michigan:  855-444-3911