Juggling Life

The life of a foster parent can be very busy.  I titled this one "Juggling Life" because that is what I have felt like lately.  I have a wide age range of kids in my home right now and it makes for some very interesting days around here.  One child needs to be driven somewhere, another needs to practice his driving.  One has a doctor's appointment and another needs paperwork filled out for a college class.  I volunteered to chaperon a field trip for my youngest at the elementary school (what was I thinking?) and I have two jobs that earn real money.  That would be the short list of what is going on this week.  I forgot to mention that I have a nasty cold that has taken away my voice all week long.  I have to confess, I was a little negative at the bus stop this morning when chatting with another mother with my hoarse voice.  It feels like all the balls I have in the air are going to come crashing down today.

I used to complain about my busy schedule but I have come to realize that I really enjoy the organizational challenge of juggling all my kids.  I learned how to juggle children when I first became a foster parent.  None of the classes prepare you for the busyness of foster parenting.  I started with one child (thank goodness!).  It is so exciting when you receive the call for the first placement.  I love the anticipation that comes with getting to know a foster child.  However, once the getting to know you part of foster is over, the appointments begin.  Your case worker will visit once a month, which can be very stressful at first.  Is my house clean enough?  Will the child behave through the visit?  Will the social worker know that I am trying to be the best parent I can but it may not look that great on the outside?  Then the doctor's appointments, school appointments and dentist appointments begin.  Can you see where this is going?  Foster parents are busy people!  Just when I think I have everything under control, visitation with birth parents begins.

These visits will happen at least once a week, depending on the child's circumstances.  Some visitations are scheduled twice a week and that is much tougher.  Most foster parents have full time jobs to add to the mix.  Many foster parents have more than one foster child from different families.  Imagine how many visits could be on your calendar in that scenario.  I recently attended a foster parent support group where one of the foster parents had 5 foster children currently in her home and she was offering to do respite for 1 more.  She is an amazing lady.  Personally, I completely understand this lady.  I love a busy household and I love having a lot of children around.  I also find that helping a child is a very addicting process.

My kids have a half day at school today which makes things a little more complicated and causes me to complain to my husband about the school system.  I hate half days because I have to get everyone ready and out the door just like a normal day.  However, as soon as the last one leaves, one of the older ones arrives home and the process goes in reverse.  My vote is for all day school or a day off.  Half days are a nuisance in my busy schedule.  I am pretty sure that the teachers feel the same way I do.  Anyway, that is enough complaining.  Here are some practical tips to help with the juggling process.

Get a big calendar and put it up somewhere.  Every event in our household has to go on the calendar or Mom doesn't go.  I have a personal calendar that I carry with me, but it can't replace the large family event calendar.  If you have two children close in age, make sure they are on the same team, or same class.   It is always a bonus when I can combine activities.  I love having sibling groups as foster children because all the visits are combined.  My jobs outside the home tend to involve my children too.  I have worked at the schools they attend as a teacher's assistant.  It is wonderful when  your work schedule is the same as the school schedule.   As a social worker, my kids often attend special events with me.  It helps them get to know other foster or adopted children.  Here is a hard one but worth the effort.  Only go to the grocery store once a week.  If you run off to the grocery store for little things every day, you are wasting huge amounts of time and effort.  Don't do it!  Last of all, forgive yourself when you drop all the balls.  It will happen and we just do the best that we can.

I got a big hug from my little boys when they burst off the bus this afternoon on the dreaded half day.  That gives me the energy to keep juggling and to remind myself on the rough days why I do what I do.