Don't Forget "Me" Time!

I love my car.  I do everything in my car.  It is my traveling office as well as my mode of transportation.  As a Mom, I spend a great deal of time in the car taking children to all their various activities.  I used to get tired and frustrated at the amount of time I spent in the car, until I discovered what a haven my car could be.  Now, it is fully loaded with reading material, snacks and music for Mom.  My car is always the right temperature for me (not my husband's temperature, which is always too cold!).  While I am waiting for my kids to finish their activities, I can read a magazine or a book.  I keep my church reading material in the car too for a daily dose of spirituality.

As a parent, I am a very busy person.  There is rarely time for me to sit down and watch television or read a book just for pleasure.  The family's needs always come first in my life.  I am very happy with the priority of things in my life but it gets difficult to be a giver all of the time.  I need time for me that is uninterrupted.  I should capitalize "uninterrupted" and underline it too.  All I need to rejuvenate is a small bit of time that is just for me.  I have found it in my car.  I shamelessly admit that I have a DVD player with wireless headphones in my car for my little kids and I plug them in everywhere we go.  This small thing allows me to listen to music of my choice, not the Wiggles or Raffi.  I find listening to my music for a short 15 minute ride is so relaxing that I have more patience when we arrive at our destination.

Here is another phrase that should be capitalized and underlined, foster parents need "me" time more more than anyone else I know.  Maybe driving in the car is not your personal brand of "me" time but it is important to find out what your "me" time should be.  Foster parents are givers.  We give of ourselves, our families, and our homes.  We open up our entire existence to the agency and the State of Michigan.  Private time is nonexistent in a busy foster home.  One of my jobs at Hands Across the Water is supporting our foster parents in creative ways.  It has to be creative to entice a family to spend their precious time at an agency sponsored event.  Your agency wants to help you out.  So here are my recommendations for "me" time as a social worker:

Attend support groups.  A support group will bring you together with other foster parents.  Sharing stories and swapping solutions to issues unique to fostering is an incredible experience.  Many support groups allow you to bring your kids and entertain them for you during the meeting.  If going to a group is too much, then find one online.  The same support can be found in an online group. Use respite services if they are offered.  This doesn't mean that you dump your kids on someone else.  Respite care means you can take a break and let someone else carry the load for a short time.  Hands Across the Water is part of group of agencies working to create a babysitting co-op group for our foster parents.  This will involve trading babysitting services with another foster family.  What a great idea!

My recommendations as a Mom are just as important as the professional ones.  Take care of your marriage by going on a date regularly.  Find time to talk without the kids around about things other than the kids.  Talking time with my husband often happens in my car while the kids are plugged into the DVD player.  Dating does not mean that  you have to go somewhere and spend money.  I have scheduled a date at home and sent the children to a babysitter's house.  My husband and I love to watch movies together without a child cuddled between us.  Other personal "me" time activities include, shopping (by myself and not grocery shopping!), going to the library,  or sneaking out to lunch with my best friend.  It does not matter what the activity is or how long it lasts.  The only important criteria is the relaxation factor.  What makes you happy?  Traveling in my car make me happy because I have made it a mini vacation from life.  Find your "me" time and make it happen.  "Me" time will help  you be a stronger parent, better spouse, and just a nicer person to be around in general.  Tell me what you do to relax.  I would love to hear about it.