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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Embryo Adoption

I get to do some really amazing things in my job.  I love working directly with foster kids and their foster families.  I attend special events and host an information table about foster care.  These things may look like work to you, but not to me.  I get to play with kids and I get to eat elephant ears while chatting with people about my favorite subject, foster care!  I am always learning new things about the foster care/adoption world.  The latest bit of information to cross my path is embryo adoption.  Here is a small article that I wrote for the Hands Across the Water (HATW) newsletter to give you an idea of what an embryo adoption is all about:


HATW has become a partner agency with Nightlight Christen Adoptions to provide a new service called Snowflakes Embryo Adoption for our families .  According to the Nightlight website, “ The Snowflakes Program makes it possible to adopt embryos from couples who have completed In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and have remaining embryos.”  These remaining embryos can be donated to the  Snowflakes program where another couple can adopt the embryo, and give birth to their own adopted child.  This is an exciting new idea for couples who have experienced the heartbreak of fertility issues.  HATW will be there to provide support and services through the entire process.  To learn more about this new service visit http://www.nightlight.org/ or call HATW at 734-477-0135. 

Look for a link to this newsletter to be posted soon.  Did you notice the sentence, "give birth to your own adopted child"?  Think about that for a second.  Is someone really suggesting that an adopted couple can experience a pregnancy and bring their own adopted child into the world?  I began researching this topic when I found out that HATW was going to offer this service as another way to create a forever family.  I am still amazed by what I learned.  I encourage you to go to the Nightlight website and watch a few of the testimonial videos.  I learned about couples who were successful at creating a family through (IVF) and had embryos left over.  In the past, their choices were limited to using the embryo's themselves, donating them to medical research or destroying them.  I think this list of options really stinks for a couple that has poured their heart and soul into creating a family.  Nightlife offers the couple the option of putting their precious embryo's up for adoption and staying in touch with the adoptive family through an open adoption arrangement.  The adoptive couple will go through the IVF process using the donated embryo's.  If all goes well, the adoptive mother will become pregnant and welcome their child nine months later.  Isn't that amazing?

My husband and I experienced secondary infertility when we were trying conceive our fourth child.  Doctors had no explanation as to why I could not become pregnant after having three children.  We tried some medication and ran some tests but received no answers.  It was frustrating and heartbreaking all at the same time.  I think this why the idea of embryo adoption has latched onto my brain.  I could have done this!  Of course I don't regret my choices that have lead me through foster care, adoption and ultimately a career.  But I just can't help marveling at this latest option.  So many women grieve deeply over the inability to experience pregnancy and sometimes adoption seems like settling for the next best thing.  This new idea has the ability to heal the hearts of both families.  The donating family experiences the joy of knowing that the life they created has fulfilled someone else's dream of a family.  The adoptive family can experience pregnancy and the joy of knowing their child from its first moments of life.   

My family picture is a pretty amazing mix of looks.  My daughter and I look a lot alike, one of my son's could be a carbon copy of my husband.  My third son looks like I had an affair with the mail man (I didn't!) and my adopted son has bright red hair.  My other adopted son is blond haired and blue eyed just like the rest of the gang.  The cashier at the grocery store cannot figure out how we were blessed with blond, brown and red headed children.  I think it is fun to keep her guessing.  Now imagine explaining that my child is adopted but I gave birth to him too.  It is just amazing.

6 comments:

  1. Wow! That is amazing. I know someone who gave birth using a donor egg. If there had been fertility problems with her husband as well, this would have been a great option. Some women do want the experience of carrying a child as well as raising one.

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  2. I am so happy that there are many ways to create or build a family in today's world. If adoption doesn't feel like your path, keep researching, you will know the path when it feels right.

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  3. What a fantastic idea, and what a strong bond would be created.
    I'm also thinking of couples that perhaps couldn't have a child together because of genetic reasons but could bypass that issue by having an adopted embryo- truly amazing!

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  4. I think so too! It is a bit like living in the same world as the Jetsons. Truly amazing.

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  5. I just stumbled upon your blog while googling "Foster Mom Blogs." I'm a mom to four children right now, with one being a foster child. I too, have looked into embryo adoption and have not crossed it off my list! There is something in it that just touches my heart. I know you posted this almost a year ago now...did you decide to pursue it at all?

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  6. HI Kelly, I am glad that you found me! I have not pursued embryo adoption personally. Unfortunately it is not an option for me physically. But like you, I love the idea. Keep me posted if you choose to move forward.

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