My family is very set in their ways and our traditions are always the same. We have the same food every year because it is just so yummy. Each family member brings the same dish they brought the year before. Mine is cherry jello dessert. My sister is in charge of a fancy salad and my step mom brings crab legs. Really, the only thing that seems to change are the people. Last year we had a foster daughter and a boyfriend attend. This year my father joined us again after living in another state for several years. I enjoy the comforting feeling sameness and I think that foster children who are a part of family enjoy the stability too.
Despite the same traditions, the people involved are always changing. My kids are always growing up and changing. I expect and enjoy that aspect of raising children but now I am noticing that my parents are changing and growing older too. Some things are more difficult for them to do than in years past. The dinner table discussion was very interesting this year. My kids are now young adults and have strong opinions about issues outside of their normal lives. I particularly enjoyed listening to them argue points across the dinner table. My extended family is quite large and we have family members on both sides of every issue. This year's topics of debate included foster parenting in general and LGBT people as foster/adoptive parents.
I enjoy stirring the pot a little bit to get every bit of opinion that I can on foster parenting. Some in my family are still bewildered by the fact that I open my home to other people's children. Some are impressed but would never do it themselves and some of them pitch in and help out in anyway they can. I think it is a good representation of the world in general. My Christmas wish this year is for more people to sign up and give foster parenting a try because there are so many children in need of a home. My sister is sure that she could never do what I do. I wonder if my kids will foster when they have families of their own? A friend and social worker at a meeting I attended stated that often people think about foster parenting for a long time before they take the plunge. That has been my experience also. Foster parenting is a calling of the heart, but sometimes it takes awhile for a person to listen to their heart.
The discussion about LGBT foster parents was quite heated at our table. LGBT stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Our dinner discussion reflected both sides of the political debate that is going on in the world today. Personal opinions seem to be set in stone with little room for understanding the other side. Some in the family are completely against it and others prefer to stand up for the personal rights of all people. My extended family has come a long way on this issue because we have learned about it first hand from a family member. I think it is a bumpy road in any family. My opinions and perspective on the matter stem from the needs of a child. Children need families that are willing to love and care for them. Families that are head and shoulders above the abuse and neglectful families they come from. If a person can love and protect a child in need, then my questions end right there.
This year, I enjoyed having all my children with me at the same time. They have busy lives now and are very close to moving out on their own. It felt good to enjoy their company at the same dinner table. I missed those that have moved on the path of life to another family and I wonder who will be at our dinner table next year.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
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