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Monday, January 30, 2012

Things Foster Kids are Scared Of

A fellow blogger sent me a wonderful list of 10 things that children are scared of.  Here is the link if you would like to take a look  http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/10-different-monsters-that-scare-children/.  Foster kids are scared of the same things that other kids are scared of like the dark or a monster under the bed but often they have a few extra that will surprise you.  Some are afraid of attending a new school.  This is obviously because they tend to get moved around a lot.  Some are more scared of a new foster family than their own birth home and all of its problems.  This too, is understandable as the new and unknown is often far more frightening than the familiar.  I had one emergency placement of a 4 year old boy for a weekend who was terrified to be separated from his siblings.  The social worker had no choice but to divide up the sibling group of five because there was no foster home available to handle that many children at once.  This poor little guy was just lost without his older brother.  Thankfully, his older brother's name was Michael which happened to be the same as my oldest child.  That seemed to help a little bit.  He only stayed with us for the weekend and when I took him to the agency on Monday to be reunited with his siblings the joy on his face was a sight to see.  I had another young lady who was frightened of WalMart.  Apparently she and her siblings had been abandoned by her mother in a Walmart when she was 5 years old.  I met her when she was 17 and the fear was still very strong.  Foster kids are not just afraid of the traditional things that young children are afraid of.  Foster children have seen the darker side of life and been exposed to things that are heartbreaking to describe.  Hunger, physical or sexual abuse and neglect are common in this group.  However, these kids are survivors.  They have learned how to cope and function in the environment they have been given.  A foster parent can make a tremendous difference in a foster child's life by providing a loving home and encouraging a bond of trust.  These children can work to conquer their unusual fears if they are working from a place where they feel safe.  If your home means safety and security to a foster child, you have already given them some important tools to fight the boogieman and anything else they may be afraid of.     

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