Placement Call

I spent a lot of time preparing to be a foster parent.  Months of paper work and hours of training that seemed to last forever led up to this placement call.  My husband and I poured over the paperwork and talked endlessly about the type of child we felt we could handle.  Compared to the preparation, the call is less than a moment in time.  However, it is an amazing moment in time.  I will change a child's life with the decision that I make.  Do I have room for another child?  Is the child the correct age to fit in with my family.  Am I ready?  These are just a few of the thoughts that bounce through my head.  The social worker on the other end wants to know immediately if I can take a child because she has a list of possibilities that she is working her way down.  When I first became a foster parent my criteria was for a child 0-5 years old.  I had older kids in my home and I wanted to start with an age group that I was comfortable with.  However, my first call was completely out of my age range.  The social worker wanted to know if I would consider taking a child who was 8 years old.  Here was an opportunity to be mad at my social worker (there are usually plenty of those!).  She knew that we wanted to foster a young child in the hopes of adopting.  Why was she calling me about an 8 year old that she knew was not what I wanted.  Instead of getting mad, I asked a few more questions.  Why was I on the list for this child?  The answer surprised me.  She lived two blocks from my house and the social worker was hoping that she could continue to attend the elementary school she was familiar with.  A foster family often receives calls of this nature when certain criteria fit the child in need.  A good social worker has the best interest of the child in mind when working on a placement.  In the end, I was glad the worker called me because I knew the child from my crossing guard job.  She had crossed at my corner everyday and how could I not take her?  For me, the minute the child has a face or a name, I am a goner.  So the social worker brought her to my house.  I can't help feeling nervous and excited at the same time.  I get the same feeling when I am welcoming a baby placement.  Each new child brings change and a new adventure.  Placements arrive in many different ways.  One baby was brought to me with a car seat and one outfit.  Another baby I picked up from the agency.  This one came with a diaper bag but no bottles.  Both babies sent my husband running to the store to pick up necessary emergency items.  Each time the social worker shares the information that she has and promises more as soon as she can get it.  Foster kids usually come with almost no clothes, no supplies and very little information.  As a foster parent, I have learned to ask as many questions as I can think of before the social worker leaves.  I did not know this during my first placement and it was two months into fostering that I found out the child's mother was in an inpatient facility for substance abuse.  The typical stay there is 90 days.  I am sure the little girl would have benefited from knowing that her mother was safe and trying to get better.  I have had to turn down placements for several reasons.  It is important that a foster parent feel comfortable refusing a placement.  It is not a good start if a placement begins with the foster parent having doubts.  I have turned down a placement because I needed to take a break and gather my strength again.  I have turned down a placement when I feel overwhelmed.  It is important to feel confident in your decision either way.  The child coming to live with you deserves to have you at full strength and ready to tackle any issues that come your way.