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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Bits of Thoughts from a Large Family

I have a lot of little bits of thoughts floating around me head that just haven't fit in anywhere into my blog recently.  So this is a post full of little bits.

I think siblings are necessary in a family.  I cannot imagine being an only child or being a parent of an only child.  I was teaching a class of 7 year olds this week and we started our class time by drawing our family on a large piece of paper.  I did mine just to have something to do while the kids were working.  They noticed what I was up to and started asking questions.  Why is your paper full of people?  How come there is only two girls in the picture.  Why do you have three dogs?  I have no idea why I have three dogs. The strays just kind of landed in my home.  My paper is full because I have five children plus an extra living in my house.  There are only two girls in my family because one is me and the other is my favorite daughter (my only daughter).   All of the children in my class have been adopted internationally and are only children.  They marveled at the size of my family for a good five minutes.  It made me laugh.  I know my family can be a little shocking sometimes.  I believe that everyone should have a sibling to play with, to fight with, to love and to hate.  I have one sister and we hated each other passionately for 30 years.  Now we are good friends and I wouldn't trade her for anything.  If someone asks me if they should adopt or foster another child, my answer is always yes!


Child abuse is always on my mind because of my job.  Abusing a child causes a domino effect down through generations and fans out to extended family.  The immediate damage to the child is obvious, but I am talking about looking into the future.  The most obvious scenario here is pretty common.  Children who are abused grow up and abuse their children and the cycle continues until someone become a cycle breaker.  My father was a cycle breaker and I am so impressed and proud of him for that.  He does not discuss what happened to him as a child as a result of living with an alcoholic father and I don't think I could bear the details.  Cycle breakers are amazing people.  The latest scenario that I have encountered is grandparents raising their grandchildren because their own child is more focused on substance abuse than caring for the children.  The extended family often takes on the emotional and financial challenges of raising a family member's children.  Substance abuse can also be passed down to children as a grown child becomes addicted to the same drugs that caused the trouble in the first place.  One of my son's was born addicted to crack at birth.  I am very worried that if he experiments with drugs, as many teenagers do, that his body will recognize it immediately.  Can my son break the cycle and stay away from drugs?  He is eight years old now and I am able to push those thoughts to the back of my brain for another day.  Thank goodness!

I have completed a remodel of my home office and I am so happy to have my own space to work in!!!  Remodel is actually a much fancier word for what really happened to the original office space in my house.  When we first moved in, the office was just a place to put odds and ends that we could not find a space for in the rest of the house.  Eventually, I found a hand me down desk and added a file cabinet and a chair.  We put the computer in there and called it an office.  Unfortunately, this space was never really owned by anyone in the family until we had a stray child come to stay with us for a year.  Shelly was too old to be called a foster child and just sort of ended up in our home by accident (that is kind of theme for my family).  Anyway, she needed a room.  So I had this bright idea to paint the room a color of her choice and put a bed in there.  Of course, she chose bright pink and immediately spread her clothes all over.  My office was long gone within a week.  Shelly eventually moved out and I got fed up with trying to work at home in the middle of the family room.  So began the remodel.   I still have the hand me down desk and I added a new printer and a small, brand new file cabinet that doesn't look like a file cabinet at all!  The pink was painted over and I managed some new carpeting too.  I had no idea that having my own space could be such an amazing feeling.  I close the doors and nobody bothers me.  They can't tell if I am working or playing cards on the computer just for fun.  I have found my own personal place to escape the chaos of my home and it is amazing.  If you don't have your own space, I highly recommend it!

Three of my children will be getting out of school for the summer next week and I can't decided if I am really happy about it or dreading it.  That may sound crazy but summer is such a relaxing time for my family.  We don't have a regular schedule and we get out of bed when we want to.  That is one of the amazing joys of being a stay at home mom.  However, this stay at home mom is also a working mom.  I work from home (in my glorious new office!) and pretend that I work part time.  The reality is that during the school year, I have enjoyed working most of the school day away and that adds up to much more than part time.  I am really worried about how I am going to juggle having my three wonderful children under my feet all summer long.  That is the part I am dreading.  I have set up a babysitter to come to my house two days a week.  I have also been prepping my husband to take over when he come home from work so that I can retreat to my office.   I think it is going to work, but I am not quite sure yet. I may be a crazed lunatic by the end of the summer.  Who knows??  I will keep you posted.

If you can't tell by reading my blog, I love my large family.  I love having kids in my house all the time. I love the chaos they bring with them.  I love having pets to keep everyone busy.  I love sitting at soccer practice in my car reading People magazines.  I love that my job often mimics the craziness of my family.  I work at home, and at the office, and at events.  I am always moving towards the next event on my calendar.  I juggle teaching classes with taking my kids to practice.  I juggle appointments with clients around school picnics.  Does anyone else live this kind of life?  I hope so because it is an amazing ride!

  

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