What is a Match Party?

One of my favorite aspects of my job at Hands Across the Water (HATW) as a foster care recruitment specialist is hosting the HATW information table at special events.  I have been to all kinds of events at many different locations (in Michigan).  I love the opportunity to speak to people about foster care and adoption.  It also has the added benefit of saving my family from hearing one more foster care related story from me.  It is truly my favorite subject and my family has learned to be prepared for a detailed answer if they are brave enough to ask a questions.  

Last weekend, I attended the Kinship Festival which is a yearly event for the Michigan Adoption Resource (MARE).  It was located on Belle Isle which I had never been to before.  I was amazed by the beauty of Belle Isle.  Here is a picture of the beautiful building we occupied for the day.

 Kinship Festival is just another name for a large match party.  Here is MARE's definition of a match party.  "Match parties are unique events that provide prospective adoptive families the chance to interact face-to-face with many of Michigan's waiting youth.  It allows them to see past the labels, diagnoses and case histories that mask the personalities of each child.  They also provide the children a chance to enjoy a fun day filled with various games and activities."  True to the definition, there were plenty of things for children to do at the Kinship Festival.  The Detroit S.W.A.T Team came to visit with their equipment and there were several large bounce houses and slides to play on.  Lunch was geared toward the children's tastes with a hot dog cart, chips and fruit. The most successful match parties are the ones that are designed for children to have fun and not be nervous about attending.

  

I find the concept of match parties to be very interesting because the idea can make a person feel a little uncomfortable.  Underneath the fun children's event is the primary focus of allowing potential adoptive families to take a look at the children available.  Honestly, it seems a little strange and may someday be in a history book in a chapter right next to orphan trains of the 1800's.  However, I recommend that we put aside the uncomfortable feeling for a moment and really take a look at what a match party is all about.

When a family chooses the path of foster care or adoption there is an interesting ride ahead.  The family must choose the characteristics, level of disability, race, age, and gender (and many more) of their future child.  This is often done on a black and white form full of check boxes.  On the MARE website are photo listings of the children available in Michigan.  Almost every state has them if you search the Internet a little bit.  With each photo is a short biography followed by a list of impairments or disabilities.  That is not to say that all children available for adoption have disabilities but the children are categorized to help a family sort through the list a bit.  Can you see how this process removes the emotional side of adoption?   A match party brings back that element that is so wonderful of seeing a child for the first time.  It brings back that tug on the heart string that has brought a family down the adoption or foster care path to begin with.  A family can only learn bits and pieces about a child from a biography on a website.  Visit the this website to view photo listings of waiting children to see an example of what I am talking about:  MARE Website  

After reading a few photo listings, I am sure you can see why seeing a child face to face is important.  Match parties are not meant to be meat markets for children.  MARE works hard to protect the children who attend.  In order to attend, you must have a completed home study and be approved by an adoption worker.  There are specific guidelines to follow when approaching a child at a match party.  Asking personal questions about a child's background or disability level are big no-no's at a match party.  A match party is a place to quietly observe or to gently interact with a child by asking non-invasive questions.  This is your chance to get to know a child in a friendly atmosphere.  

Does the concept of a match party still sound kind of odd?  Regardless, I recommend attending at least one match party as part of the adoption and foster care journey.  The experience is priceless and you may find a child who has been waiting to become part of your family forever.