Preparing for the First Placement

So you have spent hours in training class and had several visits with your licensing worker.  You have bared all the personal details you can possibly imagine in the name of completing a home study.  You have passed all the tests and now the waiting game begins.  The waiting period is always the worst time for me emotionally as each day goes by and I managed to dream up a thousand worst case scenarios.

How long is the wait going to be for that phone call?  The answer to this question depends upon what age and type of child you are waiting for.  In Michigan, there are not enough foster families to serve all of the children in need of a home.  If you are willing to provide a home to a child between the ages of 12-21, you will receive a call within 24 hours of completing your license. I am really not kidding about that!  This age group represents the area of greatest need in Michigan.  If you are willing to provide a home to a child between the ages of 5-12, I am pretty sure your phone will ring within 30 days (sooner if you will take sibling groups).  If you are signed up for the 0-5 year old age range, you may be waiting for awhile.  Michigan has many families waiting to help a young child within this age range and the wait will depend on your counties needs.  Again, the wait will be shorter if you are willing to take a sibling group.  Please keep in mind that the times and ages are not an official statistic.  This is based upon my own personal experience as a foster mom and as a licensing worker in Michigan.  I have fostered a wide range of children in my home and I have found that after the first placement, the calls come pretty regularly after the first one.

How should I prepare the bedroom and for clothing?  After the licensing process, you should have bedroom furniture and a place for clothing already taken care of.  It is impossible to buy clothes in advance because of the wide age range of possibilities and gender.  I like to have a some loose pajama's and sweat pants that may just do in a pinch.  What is more important is to have helper on call to run to the store just in case.  My husband always served this function but I have also used grandparents and close friends.  Remember that some children arrive with clothing and some with none at all.  One of my baby placements came with diaper bag that had a too small t-shirt , 1 diaper and the clothes he had on.  He had not had a bottle in hours because of the transition from his home, to the agency, and then to me.  My husband ran to the closest store for formula and some bottles while I tried to keep the little guy calm.

I had another child arrive in clothes that were filthy and damp.  He was 6 years old and very embarrassed that I wanted him to take a bath as soon as he arrived.  The pajama's I had on hand worked while my husband made another run to the store. 

Can I set up daycare ahead of time?  Most of us are working parents, including foster parents and day care is important.  I made some calls to the daycare centers near my home to see if they are properly licensed and able to accept a foster child.  Some centers are very willing and able to do this.  Others are not.  Your agency may have a list available of day care centers that are foster child friendly.  It is very valuable to have a neighbor, family member, or friend who can provide temporary care until you get things set up.  In my case, my mother in law is retired and was always willing to lend me a hand.  Keep in mind that the transition to your home is a difficult one for the child.  Everything that is familiar has been replaced with something new.  You may want to take some time off of work to ease the transition process.  I have found that 2-3 days is a pretty good guess.

What about school?  If you are preparing to foster a school age child, it is helpful to know the location and contact information of the schools in your area.  All agencies do their best to keep children within their own school system but because of the shortage of foster families, this may not be possible.  The public school system is able to enroll a child quickly and are very easy to work with.  I had a teenager placed with me that had to change schools and it was very simple to call the local high school and set up a meeting.  They had her all set to attend the next day.  The school will contact the child's previous school to obtain records and may call you with concerns as soon as they have the records.  Many foster children need extra services so don't panic if this happens.  Set up a meeting with the school's social worker.  This person will be able to lend you support and answer your questions.

What about medical care?  Your agency may have a list of doctors who take the insurance provided by your state.  It was a revelation to me to find out that not all doctors will see my foster children.  I started my research by asking the doctor I had taken my biological children too if he accepted the state's medical plan.  He did not but was able to refer me to a very nice place.  I used this place for all of my foster children after that. 

With each new placement, I felt like  I was walking a new path.  Each child has their own special needs that will take some creativity to meet.  I found that asking a lot of questions helped me to learn where to go and what to do.  Start by asking your case worker first.  This person is your most valuable resource.  Join a foster parent support group as soon as you can because these are the people who know the insider information.  They love to share!  I have also found  people within my circle of friends who are more than willing to lend a hand when they find out you are helping a child.  Good luck on this amazing journey!