Foster Parent Support Groups

Part of my job at Hands Across the Water is creating, supporting, and maintaining a foster parent support group.  I was very excited to take on this portion of my job because I enjoy sharing stories about foster care.  I hoped that my crazy experiences as a foster parent could be valuable to others.  I looked forward to listening to the stories of others and comparing notes.  I set up the classes, advertised them, and nobody came.  I waited a few months and sent the word around to different places and still nobody came.  I changed the day and time to encourage people to come and I am still at zero attendance.

Hmmm.  In the meantime, I jumped at the opportunity to substitute as a facilitator for another support group at HATW, the A-OK group for parents who have adopted older children.  This group has been established for  long time and has some regularly attending members.  I hoped to gain some ideas for my own group by hanging out with an already established group.  The experience was amazing!

Three families came and shared their situations and talked about their challenges.  I was concerned that my experiences would not apply to their situations but I was wrong.  Kids with behavior problems share many similar characteristics.  I learned a great deal and I wished that I had brought my husband with me.  It is wonderful to be around people who are seeking out solutions to their issues.  These are people who will not give up on their children and will continue to learn and explore until they find a method that works for their children. Their situation is similar to older children in foster care.   Many people outside of the foster care world wonder why a foster parent stays in a difficult situation when they can send the child to another home and just give up.  Foster parents know that if they become another step on the ladder in a long line of foster homes that the only one paying the price is the foster child.  Many refuse to give up and continue to try and help the child in their care.   It is inspiring to be in the same room with people who are so committed to their children. 

In my opinion, raising children is a life long commitment no matter how they arrive as part of the family.  Biological children come with disabilities and behavior challenges just as adopted children do.  Foster kids always bring along emotional baggage when they arrive in the home to add to the challenge of parenting.  I can honestly say that my biological children have caused me more grief than my foster kids in some cases.  We never know the path we will be traveling when we become a parent. 

That is why support groups are so important!  We can talk to each other and share the burden.  We can get new ideas or help out another family. We can form new friendships with others who have chosen to ride in the same boat that we have.  I will keep trying to get my group going because it is too important to just let it go.  If you are a foster parent at HATW email me if you are interested in participating in a support group.  If you are just surfing the net, look for a foster parent support group and let me know the address so that I can join in too.