Learning Curve

In addition to my work as a mom and social worker, I am also a crossing guard for the elementary school in our small town.  I have been doing this job for so long that I am hard pressed to figure out how long it has actually been .  It is just something I do as I am shipping my kids to and from school.  About 10 years ago, the school across the street was converted from a middle school to an elementary school and they needed a crossing guard to get the kids across the street safely.  I applied for the job at the local police station and it is now 10 years later.  In case you don't know, most crossing guards are employed by the local police department and it is a paid position.  I enjoy chatting with the kids everyday and complaining about the cold weather to any adult that comes to my corner.

The trouble began two weeks ago when my neighborhood lost power for about five minutes.  I didn't think to much about it until I found the traffic light at my corner was broken.  It is stuck in a flashing yellow pattern.  I love my traffic light and so do the kids.  It has a pedestrian button that the kids never get tired of pushing to stop traffic.  The light turns red and I stand in the street with my stop sign as the children cross the street.  The occupation of a crossing guard is not that complicated in the scheme of things.  My street is a busy street at the open and close of school.  School buses and parents create a mini traffic jam each morning in the rush to get kids to school on time.  My traffic light is really important to create breaks in the never ending flow of cars and get the kids safely across the street.

The first couple of days that the traffic light was broken, the police station sent an officer to direct traffic.  I helped out by holding the kids back until the cars stopped.  I was glad the officer was there to place herself in the line of traffic and I could safely remain on the corner.  A few days turned into a week and the police officer had other things to attend to.  So now it is just me, the kids and a whole lot of traffic.  I know at this point that you are probably wondering what all this has to do with foster care, as this blog is primarily about foster care and not the occupation of crossing guard.  Actually, this is going to be a comparison between the two, so here we go.

My crossing guard job has gotten pretty scary.  I am worried the cars won't see me and plow me down.  Parents in a hurry don't have a great track record for paying attention in my town.  I am worried the kids will step out too soon and a speeding car will create a tragedy.  I will say again that my road is a really busy road.  In order to get the cars to stop now, I hold up my sign before I step off the curb and then watch to make sure I have been seen.  Then I step into the road.  Once I am sure the cars will actually stop, I motion to the kids and crossing the street is successfully accomplished.   I think becoming a foster parents is a pretty scary thing.  It is filled with unknowns.  Will the child have extreme behavior problems?  Will the child like me or will I like them?  Is this good for the other children in my home.  I could go on and on with things that I have worried about prior to a foster placement.  I have read the horror stories in the newspaper.  I have read  blogs about fostering that curl my hair with fear.   Becoming a foster parent could be a car accident waiting to happen.

Now consider this, amazing things are happening at my corner now that the light is entering its third week of not working.  The school bus drivers are lending me a hand by slowing down as they approach my corner.  This is giving me the gap I need to slow the other cars down.  Then parents began communicating silently with me through looks and gestures from their cars and helping to slow traffic too.  I am astounded that the community is working together with me to keep things moving along.  Traffic is slower and people are taking their time to keep the kids safe.  This has happened to me in foster care too.  Grandparents lend a hand, social workers create a network of support, and the community bands together to help a child.  I still worry that I am not doing it right and wonder if the next kid will be the one that ends it all, but the job is comfortable.  The occupation of foster parent is something that I can do despite my thoughts of doom and gloom.  

I am such a pro now at my crossing guard job, stopping cars with confidence and using hand signals to motion the kids forward.  I believe that I can say the same thing about being a foster parent.  I feel like a professional parent and I have confidence in my ability to help children in need.  I am glad that I didn't let fear keep me from becoming a foster parent.  If you are considering fostering a child, my advice is to jump into the process and learn as much as you can.  People will help you along the way.  Don't let fear or worry pull you away from helping children in need.  Don't let the media horror stories stop you from making a difference in a child's life.  If you care about kids and have desire to help, the rest will take care of itself.